Lets talk about *dating* baby, lets talk about you and me, lets talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, lets talk about *dating.* See what I did there…I like to think I’m pretty clever. Just kidding, none of it rhymed. HOWEVER – today’s topic: dating apps.
The infamous questions I get almost on a daily basis “Why are you still single?” “How don’t you have a boyfriend?” Sometimes I want to scream, “IDK, you tell me.” I have been single for the last five years. I have dated guys here and there but nothing too serious where I could call them my boyfriend, ya know, we were just ‘talking” (that term that means “dating” nowadays, the worst term ever created in my opinion because what does even “talking” mean).
But again, my dating past/life is not why we’re here because “ain’t nobody got time for that.” I’m here to talk to you about dating apps. I’m talking about Tinder, Bumble, and somewhat the newest app on the market, Hinge. And lemme tell you, I AM ALL FOR DATNIG APPS. *Insert gasp, because I feel like that’s what most people do when they see me swiping through bumble.*
The first time I used Tinder, I was a sophomore in college. It was the first time that I have heard of a dating app that people my age (18-19) were using. I instantly downloaded it and started swiping away. I wasn’t on them seriously because I was in college (focusing on my studies, HAHA). Now fast forward five years, I have Tinder (which no one really uses anymore), bumble and hinge downloaded on my phone and I’ve been on plenty of dates (the good, the bad, the ugly, and the awkward). And I’ll be the first one to tell you I am not ashamed that I use them, as much as I would love to meet the man of my dreams in the grocery store, that’s just most likely not going to happen and I definitely don’t want to meet the man of my dreams at the bar at 2 AM. SO – for now, dating apps it is.
Now – there is a lot of stigmatism around dating apps. Many people frown upon using them, others are all for them. I feel like I have heard it all, “I would never go on dating apps” “That’s just not how I want to meet someone” “I’m too shy” “What if they aren’t who they say they are?” “But one of the best pieces I have ever received from my therapist is
“Go on as many dates as you can. That way, when it comes down to it, you will know exactly what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship/spouse.”
Read it, and read it again. Think about about it, how AMAZING and TRUE is that????
I really thought about it and the only way we’ll ever realize what we want and need is from the experiences we experience. From using dating apps, some of the things I’ve learned:
- You’ll know you’re ready for love when you are fully invested and love yourself
- Honesty is really the best trait
- A family man is my kind of man
- I need someone who can openly talk about their feelings
- Long distance relationships aren’t for me
- The manz and I need different hobbies cause your girl needs space
- I’m interested in meeting someone who wants to deepen their faith with me
- My significant other can other work, but can’t be a workaholic
- I need someone to respect my love language: quality time and affirmation of words
- My significant other has to love dogs (one time I met someone who didn’t care for dogs & I just couldn’t do it)